Most of my life I have studied. I studied acting for two years. Then I moved to Sydney and studied sound production. After I finished that, I moved back home and studied journalism. I was convinced each one was my true calling. The truth is I never really knew what my true calling was. When I left high school I was convinced I wanted to be an actress. After I had finished at acting school, I was left feeling confused because I wasn’t a successful actress like I had hoped. Then I became convinced I wanted to do sound design for film so I went and did that. Once I had finished I realised I hated it. So I went straight from that to journalism. Now I have just graduated. I am unemployed of sorts and still left feeling confused. I turn 30 this year and have managed to spend the whole of my twenties wondering aimlessly from one thing to the next. How are some people able to get it so right and others not? Maybe I rushed into everything too quickly without much thought? Maybe I’m not committed to one thing enough? I always wanted to do something that I was passionate about. But I don’t know exactly what that passion is. I love to write and express but have not found the right way how. Not sure if there is a right way. So now here I am, nearly 30 years old and still confused. Maybe I have put too much pressure on myself to have all the answers.
My partner is only 26 and I feel like he has it all together. He has never stressed about anything and has always gone for what he wanted. I feel like men do that better then women. They are not afraid to ask for what they want. Sometimes women are worried about what other people think too much and are crippled by their own fear. I know I am.
So I decided this year as a present to myself for turning 30, I would go back packing overseas with my boyfriend Jackson. I have never really been anywhere overseas, so its all very overwhelming at the moment. It’s also exciting. We are planning to go for 6months to see about twenty countries. Going from basically seeing nowhere to seeing all the places we have dreamed of. The other thing I am very new to is backpacking. I bought myself an osprey back pack because I was reading up on what all the seasoned back packers use and this seems to be the brand of choice. While walking around the store with the backpack on it seemed as though backpacking and me were going to do well. However, that was until I put my handbag in the back along with my mum’s and realised maybe I wasn’t going to be such a good backpacker after all. So I went with a back pack and pull along in one. Much better choice, not quite the back packer but definitely close.