Dating over 30 in the 21st century

By Zaphra Simpson

Dating in your twenties is fun and exciting, there is no time factor and if it doesn’t work out, well that’s ok, you just move onto the next guy. However, as all my friends and I reach the ripe old age of thirty, dating becomes a little more serious and every guy you meet could be your future husband. It no longer becomes a date but an interview of potential suitor’s to father your children.

Meeting someone in the first instance is always the hardest. Where do these men hang out? Is it just me, or are there no men?

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According to research from McCrindle, women outnumber men in Australia by more than 105, 000. That’s a pretty big number when you’re already struggling to find Mr Right. There are of course other hurdles to get through such as other women who are younger and sometimes, but not always, more attractive. They can hinder your search for the perfect man particularly when they are 10 years younger.

Co-founder of OKCupid, Christian Rudder, wrote an article on what age women are considered to be the most attractive to men and its not looking good for women on the back end of their twenties. He revealed, that from his online date site, in which he gathered tens of millions of preferences. It showed that in the act of finding a date, a woman is at her most desirable when she’s in her very early twenties.

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Lyn Paul- Dating Coach 

Dating coach and relationship expert Lyn Paul, from The Dating Angel, says women in their thirties become very worried they are never going to meet someone. My main question for her was are we coming across a little too desperate, as we get older?

“I usually say to my clients allow the guy to pursue you first,” says Lyn. She believes the key to getting a man is to let the guy do all the work. “It’s basically about understanding men and how they work differently to women.”

She also suggests that dating is a skill that needs to be learnt. “Yes the first thing that’s going to attract a guy is your physical look, but you don’t have to be stunning or young to have a happy relationship.” Lyn also mentions that online dating can be a useful tool in meeting new people.

“Online dating and Tinder is also a really great way to meet somebody, if you have a professional looking profile and you know how to use it,” says Lyn.

According to the Australian Financial Review 2015, Tinder was the most downloaded app in five countries, and now a year later, it is the number 1 grossing app in 74 countries. On average Tinder users spend 35minutes swiping through 135 profiles daily.

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Many people have turned to online dating to solve their relationship woes, in fact, Dating Site Review reveals that there are currently 2.2 million single people a month looking for love online. That’s a lot of single people. But it’s their loss in love that’s an online dating sites gain, as the turnover of Australian online dating was around $112 million for 2014.

Screen Shot 2016-09-05 at 3.58.33 pm Sarah Hollows had used a number of online dating websites before swiping right and meeting Mr Right.

“I have used RSVP, Tinder, Elite Singles, E Harmony, Plenty of Fish and I found them really useful, everyone is on dating websites these days.” says Sarah.

However, she also believes that online dating is the main reason men don’t seem to make an effort anymore. “They can just use Tinder and not risk being rejected in public, and in front of their friends.”

Sarah matched on Tinder with her very first love, they had been separated for 8 years and after just two months reunited they got engaged. “If it wasn’t for Tinder, I’m not sure how we would have found each other again,” says Sarah.

“I was lucky, but in my view Tinder is destroying romance and dating. There are so many sleazy men on there who are just after sex. There are also so many losers; it got depressing swiping through them all.”

 

 

 

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